Alan Harper
Dr. Alan Jerome Harper is a fictional character from the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men. Portrayed by Jon Cryer, Alan is the hapless and helpless father of Jake Harper and the brother of Charlie Harper. He is cheap at all times. 'Major story lines' A main theme of the show is the brothers' abilities in dating. Alan is very shy when it comes to women and has had several long-term relationships end badly, making him the polar opposite of his brother Charlie, who can get any girl he wants but rarely sees women after he sleeps with them (though Charlie has also had some longer relationships conclude unhappily ever after himself). Alan used to be married to Judith (Marin Hinkle), who is the mother of their son Jake, and after they divorced Alan got stuck with paying her $3875 monthly alimony, Judith lived a luxurious life on Alan's alimony until she got remarried to Dr. Herb Melnick (also known as Greg Melnick in earlier episodes), Jake's pediatrician (Ryan Stiles), which meant Alan didn't have to pay her alimony anymore. Alan's second wife, Kandi (April Bowlby), was one of Charlie's old girlfriends. She's known for being so incredibly stupid that she makes Jake look like an intellectual. In the divorce, she received Alan's condo which they bought with the casino winnings they earned right after their impromptu Las Vegas wedding. Alan drives a Volvo station wagon and runs his own chiropractic care clinic out in the San Fernando Valley, though he gets irritated when people point out he is not a medical doctor. Saying he is no doctor at all. Alan lives in the guest room of Charlie's house. He did not pay any rent for the first 5 years, 2 months and 11 days that he was living there, probably because all of his money went towards alimony and taking care of Jake; when Alan's mom said she would pay for Jake's college education, Alan had no incentive to go to work and felt aimless. Charlie was also one of the primary reasons he had for losing everything in his divorce--seducing and then dumping Alan's attorney. He then agreed to fork over some money to Charlie every month, though the amount that would earn him a say in the household's operations was too high for him. He's squirrelling all his money away because at one point, he wants to have enough to leave. 'Judith Harper' Alan's first wife and the mother of Jake is Judith. She is generally portrayed as humorless, bitter and hypocritical. Judith told Alan that the reason they were separating was because it wasn't working out, but then later told Alan that she had realized she was a lesbian...only to change her mind again later. Rumor has it the show was going to use the "my wife left me for another woman" theme, but audiences voted against it. Alan and Judith met as teenagers at school and married at a young age. During the separation Alan desperately tried to get back with Judith, as he was seeming to think that they were getting along again, but it turned out that Judith was only using Alan to do her chores. Judith takes every chance she gets to humiliate Alan, even though it is sometimes clear that Alan and Judith still have feelings for each other; in a Season 5 episode, Alan begins dating a divorced woman who is friends with him and Judith but keeps having visions of Judith and Herb making love, leading his date to say that he's not over Judith. Alan and Judith dated once more after the divorce, but kept failing to get intimate because of Jake interrupting at the wrong time, causing Alan to have to hide. When they finally do get a chance to get intimate, Alan becomes upset afterwards because Judith has learned some new moves in bed since the divorce. Alan starts another fight with her when Jake starts to walk into the room, causing Alan to jump out of the second story window and land in a thorn bush. When Alan gets home he then realizes why he and Judith do not need to be together because it is always constant fighting. During the divorce proceedings, Alan nearly lost all of his possessions due to Charlie sleeping with his attorney (Heather Locklear) and then breaking up with her; forcing him to fire her before the settlement could be finalized and find a new lawyer. Judith gets remarried in "Smooth as a Ken Doll" to Dr. Herb Melnick, Jake's pediatrician. Since that day, Alan may only be paying alimony to his second wife Kandi, a relief since there was some time before Judith remarried that he had to pay it to both Judith and Kandi. It is possible Alan does not pay Kandi alimony because she now makes much more money than he does, and that she signed divorce papers because she wanted to safeguard her earnings from Alan. In Season 6, Judith threw Herb out of their house and later slept with Alan, but their reconciliation ended when Alan realized Judith hadn't changed from the angry, irrational person who had divorced him. Judith later told Alan that she and Herb were expecting another child, leaving a horrified Alan to calculate whether or not he is, in fact, the biological father. 'Kandi' Alan's second wife, Kandi, was one of Charlie's old girlfriends, who Charlie originally dated as a backup in case something went wrong between him and his girlfriend Mia. When Kandi came looking for Charlie, she met Alan, and they fell in love. They married, but divorced later, because Alan didn't want any children. When Alan decided that he wanted to have children with Kandi they had not officially signed their divorce papers. Kandi then heard that she had a main role on a TV series, called Stiffs, and said that "nobody wants to see a pregnant "fornesic" scientist" before signing the papers that ended their marriage. Their married life was never shown in episodes, lasting only between the third and fourth seasons. Judith gets remarried in "Smooth as a Ken Doll" to Dr. Herb Melnick, Jake's pediatrician. Since that day, Alan may only be paying alimony to his second wife Kandi, a relief since there was some time before Judith remarried that he had to pay it to both Judith and Kandi. It is possible Alan does not pay Kandi alimony because she now makes much more money than he does, and that she signed divorce papers because she wanted to safeguard her earnings from Alan. She was not seen or mentioned since season 5. 'Melissa' Melissa (Kelly Stables) is Alan's former receptionist. She served as his receptionist for most of season 6 and is shown to have a perky demeanor. Before she dated Alan, she had dated Charlie in "The Flavin And The Mavin," which ended disastrously with her driving angrily and fast in a heavy rainstorm on the way to Alan's office and Alan being forced to give her a raise and health insurance. After recovering from her breakdown, Melissa starts to fall for Alan, but he is also introduced to her mother, which complicates things---especially after Melissa catches them in bed together in "David Copperfield Slipped Me A Roofie." Since then, Melissa has been working in the hospital where Judith gave birth in "Baseball Was Better with Steroids" to try and forget about him. However, her feelings for Alan return while Judith is giving birth, and they end up making out in the storage closet. In the season 7 premiere "818-jklpuzo," Melissa appears to have moved into the Harper beach house; when Charlie reminds Alan, he is quick to deny it. In "Whipped Unto The Third Generation," after being forced by Chelsea, Charlie lets Melissa stay. When Alan and Melissa take advantage of Charlie's generosity, Charlie stays the night at a hotel. Alan is quick to join him when Chelsea and Melissa do not obey his commands. Alan and Charlie turn to Evelyn, who reveals that Melissa and Charlie slept together, making Chelsea and Melissa end their friendship, and Melissa moves out, promising never to return to Charlie's house again. In the episode "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator," Melissa is tired of Alan's cheapness and the fact that he doesn't have his own place. Alan then decides to take a job as Evelyn's assistant to earn some extra money. When showing a partically nice house, Evelyn informes Alan that the couple that own the place have houses all over the country and probably don't even remember that this one is here. Alan uses this to his favour by inviting Melissa over to the house that night and lies by telling her that he has rented it. As to not leave any trace, Alan (although he doesn't tell her) suggests that they have sex on a beach towel on the living room floor. After, they accidentally spill wine on the carpet and Alan starts a fight since they weren't supposed to be there. They make up, however but are then forced to flee in their underwear by Alan when Evelyn arrives with potential buyers. When they are caught by the cops outside, Melissa quickly runs away, leaving Alan to deal with the cops. It is implied that due to this incident Melissa and Alan are broken up (or as Alan puts it, "You could say I dumped Melissa and decided she never wants to see me again for as long as she lives"). Alan has since gone on other dates, including one with a grossly overweight woman to an L.A. Dodgers game and another that ended with him boring his date and then punching out the rude jerk who was successfully getting her to end the date and go off with him. Alleged Homosexuality While he is a confirmed heterosexual, it was suggested multiple times throughout the series that Alan might be Bisexual and/or Metrosexual. In "Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous", Alan started to think about being gay himself after meeting a gay guy named Greg in his single-parent support group. Alan found himself thinking this could be the reason he's had so many failed female relationships. At the end, Alan decided to kiss Greg to check if he was gay once and for all. Greg told him that Alan was definitely not gay, as he said he knows gay men...and that even if he was, "which you're not" he would state again, he doesn't find Alan attractive at all, but does Charlie (just like everyone else). Tired of this story of his life, Alan then pushed Greg out of his car and drove away. In another episode, he got his ear pierced by Berta's niece, then his girlfriend, on the "gay side". His family then congratulated him for "coming out". His ear became badly infected before bursting in a bunch of pus. Trivia *Alan was the unplanned child. Evelyn stated that Alan was " Two margaritas and a condom from a gas station'', although, in the episode 'Warning, It's Dirty', she says that forty years ago, Charlie asked for a little brother for Christmas, which makes it unclear whether Alan was unplanned or not.'' Family History Family Father: Francis Charles "Frank" Harper; deceased Mother: Evelyn Nora Harper Wives: Judith Melnick (March 22,1989-November 22,2004) (divorced) Brother: Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper Son: Jacob David "Jake" Harper (via Judith) Daughter: Mildred "Milly" Amanda Harper (via Judith) Born:September 22,1969 Category:Main Characters Category:Articles Needing Images